


Thin Lines and Sacrifices

by Purpliexzy



Category: Helen Sharpe - Fandom, Max Goodwin - Fandom, New Amsterdam, Sharpwin
Genre: Angst, F/M, Indecision, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:27:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23236198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purpliexzy/pseuds/Purpliexzy
Summary: Alternate ending for 2x17 with Max and Helen on the rooftop.
Relationships: Max Goodwin/Helen Sharpe
Comments: 6
Kudos: 87





	Thin Lines and Sacrifices

**Author's Note:**

> So this was written between lunch breaks and TV time breaks. I kept switching POVs and I don’t know if it’s good but it’s something to help keep you company. It’s terribly short though. Enjoy. Xx

Thin Lines and Sacrifices 

Different thoughts were going round Max’s head as he watched Helen interact with different people for the better part of the night. He wasn’t deceiving himself anymore, Helen had taken a permanent spot in his heart and he knew it. It wasn’t fair to her and her career that she almost gave up everything for him. Something she worked so hard on. 

There she was whispering something into Lauren’s ear and Max wanted to take Lauren’s place so badly, he wanted to smell that soft perfume of hers he was inhaling earlier on when he pulled her away from the kids. It was the same one as the one that haunted him the day she told him that she did everything for him. The hairs on his forearms stood at the thought of her saying those words to him and frustration settled when he remembered he didn’t do anything about it or thanked her properly for that.

Iggy grabbed his attention when he started talking about GoFundMe and cracking jokes about it. With that, Helen slipped right out of his gaze when he looked back to where she was just standing a minute ago. He was sure that she didn’t walk out of the hospital because that would mean passing him on the way out, but she wouldn’t leave without saying good night. Or would she?

Then he thought of the one place she could be, the one place she didn’t go to for months and Max excused himself.

“So you’re out here.” Max announced his presence on the rooftop to Helen as she leaned against the railings. She turned completely to look at him and he was standing a few feet away from her with his hands in his pockets. He looked dapper in that suit. Helen didn’t think he’d actually listen to her when she instructed him to go and change. But he did. “You looked like a dream in there tonight.”

Her eyebrows arched up as she tilted her head to watch his movements carefully, he leaned with his forearms on the railings before finally setting his gaze back on her. “Funny, because someone told me that I was the real deal tonight.”

A shadow fell over his face and he took his eyes off of her, looking into the clear space. “I’m always saying the wrong things, aren’t I?” He chuckled. He definitely got his doctorate at saying the wrong things, like what the hell was ‘that’s a dress’? That was the most backhanded compliment to ever give someone. 

“There’s a thin line between reality and dreams, you know.” Whatever was on his face disappeared when he heard the playful tone in her voice. “Besides Lauren is my day one hype woman. She’s always there to give a massive boost to my self esteem.”

“As if you need that.” He cocked a brow at her direction and she blushed under his gaze. He thought he was always saying the wrong things but Helen thought she should be the judge of that. Sure, Max is the kind of guy to do things at the right time but that frustrated her to no bounds. Her mind travelled back to a few days ago when he found out the sacrifices she made for him. He approached her with full confidence, so swift and she dared to expect something but when she caught him fiddling with his ring from the corner of her eyes, she knew that was not the time so she turned around and left.

The next day, she completely avoided him successfully and he gave her the space she needed but the day after, he was back on her case as usual, pretending that it didn’t happen. 

“It’s been a while since I came up here.” Helen told him. “After everything that happened, I-” she stopped. The last thing she needed was to get into that touchy topic. Max has always avoided it like the plague, he lost his wife after all.

“After the accident?” He asked and she nodded surprisingly. “God, I was so mean to you.” He whispered more to himself as he dipped his chin towards his chest in embarrassment and Helen laughed.

“You were grieving, Max.”

“You also needed me at the time.” He countered. “This thing goes both ways you know, I can’t be the one always taking and not giving. You deserve better, you deserve a better confidante.” Helen laughed at his choice of words and her mind flashed back to their conversation right there on the roof after the snowstorm. “You never told me where you went for your sick leave after the accident.”

“I went home.” She answered almost too quickly.

“My mum wanted me to quit at New Amsterdam and go back there, she was loud about the whole thing. She was like ‘you’re supposed to be a doctor, why were you in an accident?’” Max was looking at Helen in a fascinating manner, either fascinated by the story or the storyteller “I told her ‘Mama, accidents happen to anyone’. She was only convinced when I got the call for Oprah. She’s her idol.”

“She sounds great.”

“And tiring.” Helen chuckled. They stood there for a few more minutes, basking in the moonlight and listening to each other’s even breaths. Different thoughts going round each of their heads, filled with nothing but the presence of each other. Along the line, they’ve stood for so long that they can feel the heat of each other seeping through their fabrics. None of them dared move because the alternative sounded so cold.

“Max-”

“Helen-”

They called each other’s name at the same time and that only made both of them laugh out loud.

“You first.” Helen permitted. “I’ve been the one talking since you got here.” 

“Alright, first off, that’s not just a dress.” His bold words got her attention, making her turn completely to stare at him. “It’s the dress.”

“That’s not any different.” Confused but still smiling, Helen addressed his words. She was clearly not making this easy for him. A breeze blew and Max saw her blowing air out of her mouth, clearly feeling cold but she won’t admit it. Max took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders before speaking near her.

“You look beautiful, Helen.” His silent whisper was filled with different emotions that got Helen so confused. “It’s been a while since I felt like I want to stare at something or someone for the whole night and-” he turned to look at her and her furrowed brows got him swearing. “Am I permitted to say that?”

She looked more confused “Why shouldn’t you, Max? Is it because there’s someone else?” She could feel her voice shaking but she tried as hard as possible to hide it from him.

“Not just that. You and Panthaki-”

“What?” She scoffed, her eyes blinking in surprise at his obliviousness. “Max, Akash and I broke up more than six months ago.”

He’d thought as much, but he didn’t want to assume. He still felt ashamed that he barely knew things about her when she knew everything about him. She even knows his preference of table settings, the mug he uses for his tea when he’s out of ideas to help their patients and that’s the most annoying thing to know about someone.

“Well, more like he left and stopped picking my calls.” She murmured more to herself. Max observed her and for some reason, he felt like that also has something to do with him.

“Never liked the guy.” Max admitted and Helen snorted out a laugh. She covered her mouth with her palm when the sound came out and Max rolled his eyes because he knew that she felt embarrassed for some reason. “Even though he helped in saving my life and all. But you get ninety percent of the credit.” She was still laughing and shaking her head at everything he said when someone pushed open the door from the stairwell.

“Oh, Dr. Goodwin.” The lookout guard said when he came closer and noticed them. “Dr. Sharpe.” He nodded towards her. “I heard sounds and I decided to come and check it out. Enjoy your time.”

“Thank you, we were just leaving too.” Max told him before turning to Helen. “Where is your coat?” He asked.

“In my office.” She answered, the question making her pull his coat tighter over her body. She wasn’t ready to let it go, at least not yet. She loved how warm and closer to Max it made her feel. “Where’s yours?” She asked and when he looked at the one on her shoulders she continued quickly “not this, the one you had on this morning.” 

“Helen” Max laughed. “Are you stealing my coat?”

“No, you gave it to me.”

“To keep you warm, woman!” He argued in a light manner and they started walking towards the stairwell. “Damn! This is my favourite tuxedo jacket.”

“Well, it’s mine now.”

“As if the fashionista in you will let you wear that to go somewhere, you’ll just hang it on your coat hanger at that fancy apartment of yours.” He was feigning annoyance and Helen was thriving on it. “You’re not giving it back, are you?”

“Nope.” 

“It was worth a try.” He sighed in defeat and she grinned at him. They walked to his office where he took his jacket and put it on before something on his desk caught his eyes. “There are a few forms I need you to fill for going back as department chair, the board needs it before next week.”

“Uh-huh.” She cocked her head towards the door and they stepped out of the office together. “Speaking of the board, I saw your video.” Helen started with a hint of amusement in her voice.

“You’re late to the party, Dr. Sharpe. The GoFundMe video has been going round for days now.”

“I’m talking about the ‘I’m not going to sit down at this meeting unless Dr. Sharpe has been reinstated as the head of oncology and the deputy medical director’ video.” Max’s eyes almost popped out of his socket as he heard her words. How did she know? She wasn’t at that meeting and he hoped that was the only thing she saw. His cheeks flushed with embarrassment and he could see Helen smirking in amusement. “I have eyes everywhere in this hospital, Max, I’ve been here for so long.” She whispered to him and he chuckled.

“Damn, I need to make less visits to the vending machine and Pan De Vie then.”

“Actually, I only have eyes for the quality things and that video was airdropped to my phone the minute I saw it.” She shrugged as they walked out of the hospital in slow strides, bumping their shoulders occasionally.

“Karen was the only one that could do that.” Max concluded with a laugh. “That woman has zero respect for me.”

“Come on, don’t be like that.” Helen pouted and Max swallowed a lump that comes up his throat. That pout is doing amazing things to his head and heart but he truly hoped it’s the half glass of wine he had that was doing this. “Are we sharing a cab?” She asked him and Max scratches the back of his head.

“No actually, Luna-” Helen smacked herself inwardly for not asking him why they walked out of the hospital without getting Luna. On days like this that they stay long, Max usually brings her with him because his babysitter doesn’t work odd hours. “Luna is with Alice.”

“Oh.” Helens face fell. But she couldn’t stop herself from asking “Alice?”

“Bobbi’s mum, Luna’s Bobbi. The new friend Luna made and-” he blabbered but Helen shook her head at him to get him to stop. She knew the look on his face, she was well aware of it. Max was seeing that woman. 

Different emotions run through her body but she forced a smile at him. Even though it felt like her heart was about to burst out of her rib cage. “So that means we’re not going the same way.” She smiled and luckily, Ron drove up to them and Max stretched his hand out towards the car and opened up the door for her.

Her next actions shocked him, because she took off his jacket and stretched it out to him “I was joking.” She was not. They both knew that she was not joking but the thing she just learned about him won’t let her take another major step towards him. She has had enough of the back and forth between Max and her. The last thing she needed was a constant reminder of him hanging on her coat hanger, when she couldn’t seem to secure the real deal.

He collected the jacket, staring between Helen and the clothing item trying to understand how he always succeeded in fucking things up with Helen. He knew he wasn’t in his final destination yet, but the only thing he was sure of in his final destination is Luna and Helen by his side.

He did not have an idea of how that was supposed to happen because Helen isn’t going to wait around forever but he knew that once they’re there, they’re never turning back. “Good night, Max.” Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he forced a smile.

“Good night, Helen.” He whispers back. “Thanks for taking care of all of us. Thank you for what you did to those kids and Floyd tonight, you really are the deal.” That made her laugh as she entered the car and waved him goodbye before leaving.

Max was sure of one thing, he was tired of walking out of the hospital with Helen together almost every night but ending up without her a few minutes later. Something had to change. And he knew just what it is, because he was the only one that can fix it.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated and they’re a good motivation.


End file.
